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Raising Children: Getting From CALM To Wise

Dr. Laura Kastner PhD, a clinical psychologist and author, spoke with Lon Woodbury on Parenting Choices for Struggling Teens, a radio talk show hosted on L.A. Talk Radio, about raising children, getting from CALM to wise. CALM is an acronym for constructive steps a parent can take to establish self-control when confronted by a distraught teen. During the interview, she explained a variety of parental approaches based on a parent's strong self-regulation that worked remarkably well.

Lon Woodbury is the founder of Struggling Teens and Woodbury Reports and he has assisted families and struggling adolescents since 1984. Besides his work as an Educational Specialist, he is a prolific author, and his Parent Empowerment book series is available on amazon.

About Dr. Laura Kastner

Dr. Laura Kastner has authored four books on parenting: The Seven Year Stretch, The Launching Years, Getting to Calm, and Wise-Minded Parenting. She is a clinical psychologist with her own private practice, as well as a clinical professor, with positions in a variety of departments, including Psychology, Psychiatry and the Behavioral Science departments at the University of Washington.

The Key of Parenting Children, Getting from CALM to sensible

One of the most vital parenting skills a mother or father can learn when it comes to managing children, is getting to CALM, pointed out Dr. Kastner. Self-control is required when a teen confronts a parent, otherwise the situation usually heats up into a shouting and yelling match. Moms and dads have to find ways to preserve their own self-control to ensure that they can actually begin to model self-control for their teenagers.

CALM, she explained, is an acronym for the steps a parent can use to establish self-control when in conflict with their teen. C is for cool down and breathe deeply; A is for assessing your options; L is for listening with empathy; and M is mapping your plan.

In discussing why most teens act out, Dr. Kastner clarified that at around the age of 13, kids were in the middle of a transformative brain change, known as remodeling, that was biologically wired into them. Their minds resembled a 'website under construction' due to the fact that they were starting to prepare to reach adulthood and independent living. Just how teenagers responded to this biological modification relied on their temperament. Some were quiet, some looked for mischief and others fell to depths of depression. Moms and dads needed to quit leading with their feelings, and establish a tranquil, clear, and assertive parenting design.

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